Trying to Level Up in 2021? Dr. Stephanie Brown, life coach and host from the S.O.A.R. podcast, walks us through how to get rid of what no longer serves you. Through real examples, we discuss real ways to overcome those things that hold us back from success. Let's let go to LEVEL UP!!
Recorded January 24, 2021
Letting Go to Level Up!
Dr. Stephanie Brown is a Life Coach and a physician with over 25 years in clinical practice. She is radio host and podcast host of the "Sisters Overcoming And Rising" (S.O.A.R) radio show and podcast where she provides a platform for women, especially Black women to tell their stories.
Quotes:
"Sometimes the reason we cant get to where we want to get is because there are things that are actually holding us back....energetically there are things holding us back." - Dr. Stephanie Brown
"When you see the same thing on your New Year Resolution list every year that is a sign there is something holding you back that you need to let go."- Dr. Stephanie Brown
"All that I was seeing in the outside world, were reflections of things going on inside."- Dr. Stephanie Brown
"Look at this chess board [your life]. You are the Queen, you are not a pawn. You can make whatever move you want to make."- Dr. Stephanie Brown
"Whatever it is that you want to be, think the thoughts as if you were already there and you'll get there before you know it." - Dr. Stephanie Brown
"Every so often we have to be reminded of who we are." - Twanda Baker
" I want to shake people sometimes and say, 'C'mon we got to believe in ourselves just a little bit more'" Rhumel Anderson
Guest
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Let Go To Level Up
Dr. Stephanie Brown
[00:00:00] Rhumel: [00:00:00] Welcome back to our show.
Twanda: [00:00:11] Welcome back everybody. This is Twanda.
Rhumel: [00:00:14] And this is Rhumel
Twanda: [00:00:15] Hey Rhumel
Rhumel: [00:00:17] Hey girl Hey, how you doing?
Twanda: [00:00:20] Wow. And I'm feeling pretty good. Do you see the little creature behind me?
Rhumel: [00:00:25] I do a little baby Yoda,
Twanda: [00:00:28] Yes, baby Yoda, the child. I never thought I was that person who would like to be like the Mandalorian, but all the memes with the baby Yoda, get me curious. And then I had to watched the whole Mandalorian series and then I had to have a baby Yoda.
Rhumel: [00:00:45] Yeah, I know. And you also took a picture with your cat, with the baby Yoda. I didn't tell
Twanda: [00:00:51] now you let everybody know that I'm a little baby Yoda. Crazy. Thank you for that. But somebody else is out there saying I like him too. So I [00:01:00] shouldn't be the only one. I just wanted you to know that you all listeners can't see it. But behind me, on my desk, I have a new friend as my coworker, baby Yoda.
Rhumel: [00:01:11] baby Yoda. I like that. Well, speaking of work, how do you feel about work right now?
Twanda: [00:01:20] you going to put me out like
Rhumel: [00:01:22] No. I mean, like, I mean, it's, it's that time of year where we're all coming up with new goals and
Twanda: [00:01:27] Yeah, actually, I have goals coming up this week. At work we have to lay out our goals for the year we, but I was just listening to, I'm not sure if you're familiar with Jim Roan room and he was talking like this morning, we were playing it. And he said, so what's on your goals list. And, and he said, somebody is going to say, I don't, I don't have a goals list.
And he said, Hmm, That I have a problem. Hmm. I can think like you're in the position you're in right now because you don't have a goals [00:02:00] list. And so my daughter was in the room with me as well, and she said, I said, crystal, do you have a goals list? And she said, yes, today I'm going to read this. And then I'm going to do that.
And I said, that's your to-do list. And you know, I love to do this. So I'm a little proud first, right? Like, yeah, girl, you got to do lists. And then she said, what's the difference between goals and a to do list. And I had an answer for her because. I might know things that I don't apply. I don't know. Maybe I don't know.
They ended up, I was like,
Rhumel: [00:02:32] Yeah. You're not the only one
Twanda: [00:02:33] your to-do list can help you reach that goal and, and, and so forth. And I felt pretty good about it, but I knew that there are people who know better than me, how to get goals done and how to imagine your goals and to identify ways to get around your obstacles.
And I'm not the one, but I'm smart enough to know. And my age to ask somebody who does know, which is why today we've [00:03:00] guest Dr. Stephanie Brown back with us. Hello, Dr. Stephanie,
Stephanie_Brown-1: [00:03:05] Hello? Hello?
Twanda: [00:03:06] just real quick, before I introduce you again, are aware and introduce you. That's right.
Rhumel: [00:03:13] WE were on her show.
Stephanie_Brown-1: [00:03:16] Yep. Yep.
Twanda: [00:03:17] So we'd been on this podcast thing before, but that was for her show not, I was just definitely you have any affinity for a baby Yoda.
I'm just curious,
Stephanie_Brown-1: [00:03:26] well, I like baby Yoda. I haven't gotten to the point where I actually have baby Yoda on my bookshelf, but I like baby. And I think the little Bernie means are cute too. So I think I might even want to get a little crochet Bernie to put on my
Rhumel: [00:03:43] one of those.
Twanda: [00:03:44] I've seen that. That was so cute. I agree. I saw one had Bernie on a gurney and I just laughed so hard about that was. So, let me introduce you to Dr. Stephanie Brown. She is a life coach and a [00:04:00] physician with over 25 years of clinical practice. She's a radio host and a podcast host of the S.O.A.R Radio show and podcast.
Now S.O.A.R. Stands for sisters overcoming and rising. Say, I just love the sound of that system overcoming and rising. It's here where she provides a platform for women, especially black women, to tell their stories, Dr. Stephanie professes that by telling our stories of how we overcome limiting beliefs, we can encourage and inspire other women to do the same.
So Dr. Stephanie is also a speaker and works with women leaders to become the best versions of themselves through group and individual coaching. I am so glad that you. Were able to join us on our podcast today. Welcome
Stephanie_Brown-1: [00:04:52] Thank you. I'm so happy to be here. And I'm so glad to be reunited. I know this is my first time on your podcast, but we had so much [00:05:00] fun on my podcast. I was like, yes, we got to do it again.
Rhumel: [00:05:03] Yes. I was so happy. And you know, when we got back together, just now, it just felt like normal, right? It didn't feel.
Twanda: [00:05:09] girlfriends, hanging out, girl we back.
Rhumel: [00:05:15] We're just really excited because Dr. Stephanie has a program that she has been working and she's she does the coaching and I was so interested in her latest topic. It's called. Let's go to level up. And I was so intrigued by this concept. I was like, I want to let go and level up.
Stephanie_Brown-1: [00:05:41] We all do. Yeah, I do
Twanda: [00:05:43] Sounds great. I need some help though. I don't know. Not really good with the start of that. So
Rhumel: [00:05:50] I mean like what does even to let go really mean? So we're gonna just, we'll let you just kind of tell us, like, what does, what does that concept mean to you?
[00:06:00] Stephanie_Brown-1: [00:05:59] Yeah, I think, you know, sometimes when we, like you were talking about goal setting, so we want to set goals for the new year or we have goals that we want. And sometimes we think that it's about the vision or what it is that we want to do. And, and it's not always just about imagining it. Sometimes the reason that we can't get to where we want to get is because there are things that are actually holding us back.
They may not be things that you can see, but energetically, there are things that are holding us back. So some, so when you see that the same thing is on your new year's resolution list every year. That's a sign that there's something that's holding you back that you need to let go of.
Twanda: [00:06:43] Talking about me like that.
Rhumel: [00:06:46] about me too. And I was feeling a little bit attacked, but it's okay. We still, like you.
Stephanie_Brown-1: [00:06:53] Don't kick me out. We just started, please. Don't kick me out there.
Twanda: [00:06:57] you here for precisely [00:07:00] this. So w so we're, we're interested in hearing something, anything about, I have specific questions about letting go, but if you want to just lead us into it some more that's, that's fine.
Stephanie_Brown-1: [00:07:13] Absolutely. So. When I think about letting go, it, it reminds me of a time in my life where I would, I would have said the same thing. I don't really have anything to let go of. I have everything that I want. Right. I had the career, I was practicing and primary care I had the family, I had the house, I had all of these things, but,
I still felt this sense of there has got to be something else in life. Other than this, you
Twanda: [00:07:43] Wait, I feel like that right now.
Stephanie_Brown-1: [00:07:45] Yeah, it felt like it was just this constant. You, you go to bed, you wake up, you do it all over again. You go to bed, you wake up, you do it all over again. Yeah. And it was just, you know, like being on this hamster wheel.
And I went to a conference and I heard this woman speaking and [00:08:00] she was a life coach. And she talked about having checkbox lives. How we have the career check. We've got the family check. We've got the The social life check. We've got all of these boxes checked off and we realized that we don't feel the way we thought we were going to feel.
Once all those boxes were checked.
Twanda: [00:08:18] Yeah, that'd be.
Stephanie_Brown-1: [00:08:19] And when she said that she was on my street, I was like, I so resonated with what she was saying, because I was actually feeling kind of miserable. And I was like, I just don't understand why I'm feeling this way. So I went to work with, I went to see her and you know, of course at these conferences, they have these giveaways, right.
And there's over 200 women there and they, she gave away a book and, and I won the books. So I'm like, okay, it's meant to be its destiny. You know, I won this book. And she eventually became my life coach. And one of the first things that she said to me was that, you know, the job that I was looking at [00:09:00] as I felt like I was a pawn and I was just like, you know they didn't really appreciate me or value me.
They were just, you know, I was dispensable and what she really made me realize was that all of the things that I was seeing in the outside world, Were reflections of things that were going on inside and that hurt, you know, that was, that was painful. But it was also promising because it allowed me to see that if it really was a reflection of something inside, then I had the ability to change it.
And so the next thing that she made me see, which was an aha moment was even though I felt like a pawn. She said, look at this chess board, you are the queen of this chess board. You are not upon. You can make whatever move that you want to make. And I had all these excuses. I'm like, no, but I can't do this.
And I can't do that. They won't let me. And she was like, what move do you want to make? You have to first decide what move you want to [00:10:00] make. In your mind and then move towards it. And, and, and they worked out the exact move that I wanted to make. Despite all of the things that I said, we're not gonna allow me to do it.
I was able to make, once I made that shift in my thoughts and him and my mindset.
Twanda: [00:10:19] Okay, that's beautiful right there. Maybe every so often we have to remember or be reminded of who we are. and I have days where I feel like the queen, I can do it all. And then there are days I do feel like the pa and just to be, just have to make sure to remind myself of who I am so I can make the right moves.
I can make queen moves instead of pawn. I think that that is a helpful. Helpful thing. I I'm imagining that you've talked to some, a number of people and met heard a number of stories. What are [00:11:00] the types of things people are, are needing to let go of now. I know you just said, you know, these negative thoughts and I didn't even realize that those were my negative thoughts.
I really did think that job thought that of me. And now I'm like, Oh yeah, can you probably you probably right. I'm thinking that, but are there any other places where people realize that they have to let go? Yeah.
Stephanie_Brown-1: [00:11:23] Absolutely. I like to think of it as a holistic thing, you know? As you mentioned, I've been practicing medicine for over 25 years. And what I realized is that nothing is done in isolation, right? We're we're integrated beings. And so when we have something that affects us physically, you know, it. Impacts us emotionally and socially.
So there are areas I would say emotionally, physically, socially financially mentally all of those areas where people need to let go. So mentally, we already talked about the [00:12:00] thoughts, they're thoughts that we have been thinking since we were like little kids and, and, and they're these whole elaborate stories that sort of play on a loop in the subconscious.
So we're not even aware of right. But those thoughts determine our feelings and determine our actions. So one of the most important things we can do is just become aware of what those thoughts are and then decide. Well, is that still serving me? Because you know, the thoughts, thoughts that I had in the fourth grade are probably not serving me anymore at this stage of my life.
Right. But if I'm not even aware of them, I don't have the option to change them. So that's one thing. And then emotionally, you know, things that we need to let go of, we need to let go of some shame. We need to let go of some forgiveness. We need to let go of some guilt because those things will definitely hold us back from being able to get to the next level and level up.
Because you know, when we have those [00:13:00] energetic emotions, they're just. Tethering us tethering us to the ground. So we're not able to soar, you know, physically they're there physical things that. Are holding us back. There's some toxic things that we put into our bodies that make it difficult for us to get to the next level.
Socially, there are some people who are holding us back, who, when we're around, like I have afriend or maybe an ex-friend that every time I was around her, I felt like I couldn't do enough. Right. I, I was not doing enough for her. I was not like there was always something more that she wanted of me.
And it was exhausting to the point that I would start to avoid calling her or, you know, wanting to be around her because it was always more, more than she wanted from me. And that's just toxic. That was just draining my energy and letting go of [00:14:00] that frees up my energy to do, to create what it is that I'm meant to create.
Rhumel: [00:14:06] I agree. I think that there's, I think that the whole idea of like shame and guilt and forgiveness is a really huge thing that people sincerely recognize and because they won't recognize it. It holds them back. You know what I mean? Like I think we all have had moments where you wish you could take it back.
You wish he hadn't done it. You hurt somebody in a way that you know, that you wish you could take back and. All of those things, if you allow them to we'll replay and replay and they build up bigger and, and sometimes if you deal with it, you realize that the person that you thought you heard had moved on a long time ago, you know, they let go of it a long time ago because it was the sixth grade.
Right. You know? And but it [00:15:00] kind of just thinking about that makes you go like it's. That's another reason for us to really challenge our thoughts. Whenever we're having these negative thoughts that bring shame that brings
Twanda: [00:15:13] That guilt.
Rhumel: [00:15:14] guilt. Yeah. Yeah,
Stephanie_Brown-1: [00:15:16] Mm. No, that's a great point. I liked the way you put that, that we're not really aware of it. And, and a lot of times we aren't because it's working at a subconscious level. We just realize that we're showing up in life in a way that we don't want to show up. Sometimes that's the only thing that we, we can be aware of.
You know, we're trying to show up like the queen and we are showing up like the pawn and we're like, well, what is going on? And yeah.
Rhumel: [00:15:42] And sometimes it's like a self fulfilling kind of thing. Like I want to be a queen, but I just keep acting like a pawn. And if you keep thinking that you just thinking like, well, I'm just not a queen. I am just meant to be upon, obviously, because I'm just doing pawn [00:16:00] moves or, you know what I mean? You know, I mean, but people do it all the time.
Like I S I hear people talk and they'll say, Oh, there's no way I can be a doctor, because I just don't have whatever, whatever, whatever, there's no way I could do that. And so they continue not to do that. Right. They continue not to ever make any steps. Whereas I'll give you a for instance, my dad is an attorney, but he did not become an attorney until he was.
Over 50. Right. And you know, and I asked him, I said, why are you doing, why are you going back to law school? He said, because the only thing I have is time. And I am not going just because I'm 50 something doesn't mean that I can't do it. He's like I have the time and I'm going to do it. And that was a powerful example to me as to not to allow your thoughts of what getting older.
[00:17:00] Means and to limit your own self. So that was a great example from me personally, but I see people in these ruts all the time and I just want to shake them sometimes because it's just like, come on. We got to believe in ourselves as a little bit more. Yeah.
Twanda: [00:17:18] Yeah, your dad's story was always, for me, was uplifting to look at that. He will go back to school at this at an older age. And just change his changed, the script changed the whole direction. And I appreciate that. I felt that way. I had an something to overcome. I really. At one point wanted a PhD in my life. I'm in a different place right now, but I did at one point in time and I didn't feel good about myself when I didn't even have a master's degree.
And that's how it meant what it meant to me. It's like, I at least need a master's degree in something because I just don't feel good sitting [00:18:00] here with an undergraduate degree. Now, if my undergraduate degree was allowing me to. Get paid. I probably wouldn't have that issue, but I knew I wanted academically.
I felt like I needed to. That was something that was a goal of mine to get more education. I was not satisfied with what I was doing until I could get that master's degree. I have a master's degree. I'm still not satisfied. That's all I needed, but there's more there. There's more I need to do. And then I think you said earlier, we were talking about getting out of our own way.
Yeah. I think I'm a big something in my own way. I'm pretty certain of that. I haven't figured it out yet, but I gotta figure out how to size step around being in my own way. But I think if I spend enough time thinking about it, Maybe be able to figure some of that out. And I imagine a lot of women like me.
Rhumel: [00:18:56] Do you have any thoughts or suggestions as to how [00:19:00] women or people in general can, you know, push themselves out of their own way?
Stephanie_Brown-1: [00:19:06] Yeah. I love both of those examples. I was, as you were talking about your dad, I was thinking about somebody posted on social media that their mother got a PhD, I think at like age 70 something. And it's the same thing, you know? There's nothing standing between what you can do, except your belief in the fact that you can do it.
I think we all stand in our own way, you know? It's just part of being human it's part of the human condition. Right. I can think of. For me, procrastination is one of those things that comes up a lot. Right. You know, I know I have something coming up and I choose to watch I think it was "ower Book" this week, then right.
Because, you know, we, we just switched from infinity to file. So, so now I have stars and I can watch power [00:20:00] book and. So I think I watched like six episodes before I finally said, okay now I only have three hours left to prepare, but this thing that I knew I had for three months. Right. And so,
Twanda: [00:20:15] You better under pressure,
Stephanie_Brown-1: [00:20:16] right, exactly.
So for me, when I'm under a deadline, I perform, but. What does it cost me? Right. It cost me a lot of stress loss sleep. I probably, you know, there's probably a few spelling errors, you know? So it, it there's a cost to it, you know, but it's a pattern, right? It's a habit. It's something that I've done for many, many, many years.
And so it's hard to break a habit, but. I need to get out of my own way and break that habit because it's no longer serving me. You know, it's served me okay. And college, but I'm not in college anymore. And I [00:21:00] do want to level up and I do want to have a huge business. And at some point I'm not going to be able to procrastinate like that and still be able to do all the things I want to do.
Rhumel: [00:21:11] I think too. I think, I think as when we're in college, you're able to do a lot of, you know, flexing and balancing because you know, you don't have that many things to balance in your life, but the older you get, the more responsibilities you get, the more that the procrastination. Can cause those balls to fall or whatever, and it causes a lot of anxiety and things.
You know, like you said, like loss of sleep and, and even though you're procrastinating, you still thinking about it, right. That whole time you sitting there and watching power, but you're like, Oh, you know what, I need to do this thing, but I'm going to watch one more.
Stephanie_Brown-1: [00:21:53] Absolutely. Absolutely. So my coach works with me on that and she will tell me, okay, well, what is it that you have [00:22:00] to do and what do you need to do? And when are you going to do it? Write it down in your schedule set aside time to do it. And then how are you going to hold yourself accountable? And then how are you going to celebrate yourself once you do it?
And so I still have to work with my coach in those areas where I I'm standing in my own way, because just another person who's objective is able to see it and say, okay, This, this is, this is what's going on. How, how do you wanna address that? Let's let's plan together and come up with a method. And, and it works every time.
You know, I find myself feeling much better and much more prepared when I'm done with that session. And, and I get it done because I'm not just accountable to myself, but I'm accountable to her too. And I don't want to let her down.
Twanda: [00:22:48] Sometimes we are more likely to do it for somebody else than ourselves. And so instead of fighting that just go, whatever it takes, it helps me. So I'll be accountable to [00:23:00] somebody else and it'll help me. That's good. That was a good idea. I think in your bio, you talked about I read something that you had written saying you're helping women to realize and live their best lives or be their best self.
And then I, I think I'm holding, I've been holding myself back. So I want to ask you a question about that, but I've got a shirt on today, not knowing you're gonna talk to him about anything, about being a queen and making queen moves. I have a shirt on that says queen. I've seen people wear this shit all the time.
I would never have bought that shirt for myself because, you know, I think because I actually, I don't don't feel like I'm a queen. I'm not making clean moves yet, but for whatever reason, I was like, yeah, I'm not buying that, that shirt. It was given to me twice. I have two things should have were given to me that I didn't have buy.
And there's another shirt that I said I won't buy. [00:24:00] Somebody was like, Hey, you know, how about this one living your best life? And I was like, Nope, don't do that. But I would like to one day be able to rock the living my best life and mean it. And I think there's these things that you were just referring to about getting out of your own way so that you can.
You don't make the queen moves and fill it. I feel like the t-shirt thing is trying to coach me as to where I'm supposed to go. Like I need to catch up with my t-shirt game because I would like to live my best life, but I can't do that until I make the queen moves, which require that I recognize how I'm holding myself back.
Stephanie_Brown-1: [00:24:44] Well, congratulations on being gifted. The, the shirt twice, it was obviously meant for you to wear it and then you wore it. So you made the queen move by wearing the t-shirt right? Cause you could have left it in the closet or you could have re gifted it. But, but you didn't. So one of the things that [00:25:00] I say at the end of all of my soar shows is Wherever it is that you want to be, think the thoughts you would think if you were already there and you'll get there before you know it.
So like people talk about imposter syndrome a lot, because we feel like, okay, well we're being an imposter. If we're sort of, you know, making, calling ourselves a queen, but we're not yet making the queen moves. But I think of it differently. I think that it starts with the thoughts. And so when you start thinking about yourself as a queen, whether you're making the moves or not, the rest comes.
So I think the thoughts come, then the feelings come and then the actions come. So Just step into it where it, even if it feels a little bit uncomfortable, you know, over time, you'll, you'll get used to it. So wherever it is that you see yourself and you want to be just proclaim it now, just like one of my favorite scriptures is be [00:26:00] transformed by the renewing of your mind.
So the transformation comes from our thoughts and us renewing our mind.
Rhumel: [00:26:06] Say that, say the part again where you said the, the things it's like, you see it, you feel it. And then you act if, say that again for me,
Stephanie_Brown-1: [00:26:18] yeah. Starts with the thoughts and your thoughts affect your feelings and then your feelings affect your actions. So if we go back to my example about procrastination, So my thought might be, Oh, that's boring. I don't feel like sitting down and writing that. Right. And then my feelings are going to be low energy.
You know, I don't have the energy to do it. I feel depleted. And then my action is going to be. Well, I just need to do something where I don't have to do much. Let me just sit on the couch and watch television. Right? So it starts with a thought and then that leads to the feelings, which lead to the action.
So [00:27:00] I can change that. So my thought, if I changed my thought from this is boring, I don't really feel like doing this. My thought would be, Oh my gosh. I am living my best life. And I have this opportunity to write this presentation because I am exactly where I'm supposed to be. And this is what I do when I'm there.
Then my feeling is going to be one of excitement. And then my action is going to be, Oh, let me go ahead and do this. Cause this is exciting. And so that's, that's how the thoughts lead to the feelings and then lead to the actions.
Rhumel: [00:27:38] And then your writing is going to be much more exciting and lively and, and stuff opposed to feeling like, Oh, here I am. Again, throwing words,
Stephanie_Brown-1: [00:27:49] Right.
Rhumel: [00:27:49] of paper.
Twanda: [00:27:52] We could use that in our too. It was like, Oh, lord, do we have to put some words on paper? Whereas words. Yeah. Just [00:28:00] thinking of it differently. Okay. Ramelle you will be my accountability partner and I will be yours when it comes to preparing stuff for the podcast and making sure that we turn anything that we don't like to do.
You know, the certain things that with this podcast that we go, Oh, we gotta write this off. Oh, it got it. So we'll, we'll change it around and rephrase it and
Rhumel: [00:28:25] rephrase it and see if we can get some energy in it.
Twanda: [00:28:28] Yeah. I like that idea. We'll we'll account to each other for that.
Stephanie_Brown-1: [00:28:35] Yeah.
Twanda: [00:28:35] you so much, Dr. Stephanie.
Stephanie_Brown-1: [00:28:38] So you have built-in accountability partners. And I mean, the podcast is so phenomenal and you get to do this, right. You get to put together this content and bring your voice to the world, to inspire people, to entertain people. And it's, it's really a gift to get to do that.
Rhumel: [00:28:58] it really is. It [00:29:00] really is. Yeah. She just doesn't call warm and fuzzies. Yeah. Well, I think that, I think that's really cool now. I know, I think you had a cuple. Did you have a couple other areas that you also work with on Oh, don't make me be,
Stephanie_Brown-1: [00:29:17] on the, let it go to level up or something else.
Rhumel: [00:29:21] for the level of, I know you said there were five things and I don't know if I'm, if I just blurred them altogether or not.
Stephanie_Brown-1: [00:29:29] Yeah, I did. So one of the other ones is, is physical. And when I think about the physical. What, one of the things that hit me before that resonates is that we are all spiritual beings having a physical experience, right? So we have these physical bodies that we get to experience. We get to taste, we get to touch, we get to feel, we get to do all of this in our physical bodies.
So we're given this vehicle to go through this journey called life. And [00:30:00] however we take care of that vehicle is how that vehicle is going to perform for us. I mean, it's, you know, some of us get Kia souls, and some of us get mayback, but, but still how however we take care of that vehicle is gonna determine how bumpy of a ride we're going to have in some respect.
So, so. When we're leveling up, I think we have to take care of that physical vehicle that we've been given because, you know, that's how we get to express what our purpose is, what we were created to do. We express it through our physical being. So taking care of that to the best of our abilities is, is another way to level up and spiritually in terms of leveling
Twanda: [00:30:42] about to ask you about the spiritual part. So like I got the essay, the physical, but what did you, what do you share? Spiritually.
Stephanie_Brown-1: [00:30:52] gthe spiritual part is is different for everybody. But I think the one thing that is in common [00:31:00] is that. Like I said before, we're we're I think that we're all spiritual beings and whatever that means to you, that means that there's a connection to your spirituality, to your higher coach, to God, to the universe.
And when that connection is intact, when you're in tune with that connection, you are resonating at a higher level. You're you're able to Create, because you're in touch with the creator you're connected to the creator. that also has a side of it that there's some things we have to release and let go of some bad theology that we might have to release and let go of.
I know a lot of people who were taught some bad theology, I have a friend who is 50, who was taught that she should not. Date, right. Because a man, when a man finds a wife, he finds a good thing. And so what that has meant to her, like what her [00:32:00] interpretation of that has been is that she does not date.
Right. And she's never been married. She's still a Virgin. She has not
Twanda: [00:32:10] And get married if she doesn't date, like
Stephanie_Brown-1: [00:32:15] Right.
Twanda: [00:32:16] I'm confused about if she wants to get married now it's okay. If you don't want to get married and if you don't want to have sex with anybody, not want to have so anyway, but then I have to answer that question. That can be confused, but. That will be a physical experience that I think it, you know, people should have, but anyway, adults should have, but that is bad theology for sure, because you can't ever make some of those other moves with man finds a good thing.
So she got away for some man to appoint her, to wait.
Stephanie_Brown-1: [00:32:50] exactly. That that was the theology that you do not seek, you have to be found. And, and then to add that onto that she's [00:33:00] in a field, a really high, highly secretive type of field where she doesn't feel comfortable being on the internet or any of those types of things. So. You know how you're going to be found.
So some of that theology in order for her, because she does want to get married. So in order for her to get to the next level in relationships and intimacy, she has to let go of some of that bad theology. And that, and that can be tough when you're raised in the church. And when you're taught things that you think are gospel and Bible, but you have to remember those things were taught by men and it was filtered through. Yeah, so, so that would be an example of releasing some things to be able
Twanda: [00:33:41] interesting because if she hadn't talked to you are some other folks that are telling her open your mind and actually you, it will be okay to let some of that go because. If it's religion theology, that's supposed to be gospel, you know? And so you're [00:34:00] trying to identify what is actually gospel and what you can actually shave away.
From your religion and still be religious at that right there as a whole step. Doesn't it coach? Just with spirituality. I could imagine, you know, they may help you identify what you need and what you, you could actually shave off in that go. That one's a tough one, I guess. Yeah, that would be that would be very challenging for a lot of people.
So we need coaches in our lives to help us to do these things. How come coaches hadn't been a thing? Like growing up, it wasn't a thing when I left high school and college. No.
Stephanie_Brown-1: [00:34:37] it was not a thing I think I don't know. I think that, you know, We were just thriving. We weren't thriving. We were just sort of like, you know, surviving. And I think as we've gotten to the point where we realized that we deserve to live our best lives, you know, that wasn't a thing either. We didn't talk about living our best lives.
In the, in the [00:35:00] nineties or the two thousands, then we realized that there are people who can help us to do that. People who can help us to get out of our own way or to put up a mirror against us and just show us our reflection and be able to see the things that we would like to improve as we're, you know, creating a better version of ourselves.
Rhumel: [00:35:21] Yeah. You know, I think part of it is, especially for people who are of our age, when we were growing up to live, your best life was to have the things that we have. Right. So to have a job. To have a family to have a spouse that cares for you to have a house and have a car and live at a nice place. Those are the things that you aspire to.
And because maybe for, especially for black people, that was something that was not as easily attainable. Right. You know, so I kind of think that. [00:36:00] Like when I was growing up, I, my goals were to achieve those things because that is what would make me happy. Right. Those are the things that you need to get and you'll be happy.
Yes. And then you get them and you go now, what. Now what, what, what do I, what makes me happy? I got all the things. So now what, and without somebody who is a coach to kind of walk you through some of that, you spend a lot of time. I spent a lot of years really kind of floundering in who am I. What, you know, what do I like to do?
What moves do I want to make? You know? And so I think that our kids that are growing up, I mean Twanda and I have, our kids are similar ages and our kids growing up, we're talking to them about coaches. Right. We're like, Hey, you need to, you need some help with this. And [00:37:00] so that's so empowering. I'm so excited for our kids who are growing up and for younger people who feel empowered enough to have coaching, to have someone help them, you know, get out of their own way.
I, you know, I'll tell you really quickly when I was in college. I remember professor Dr. Corbett. Told me.
Twanda: [00:37:23] you talk about him.
Rhumel: [00:37:25] It's a, it's a way it's a lady
Twanda: [00:37:27] Okay.
Rhumel: [00:37:27] has always she told me one time, she said, you will do very well. If you can get out of your own way. And I was like, Dr Corvette. I have no idea what you're talking about,
but I still remember that that was like way too long ago, more than 25 years ago. And so it's something that she probably realized too, as being someone who was probably had gone through the stages that [00:38:00] like where I am now, but it's, it's a different focus than when we were growing up.
Twanda: [00:38:06] Yeah, because people might say, well, you got. Well, and they may say, this is what the goal was. Especially now when the pandemic I've got a job, you know, that's good. And then I do have the family and my family's grown up and everybody's doing okay, so I should have everything. But then I realized there's a lot more to me and where I might want to be excited about then that so I can appreciate what I have because I do.
Shave all of that. I just did to recognize there are other places where I can achieve and then still like I'm living my best life. And, you know, it's, it's not just those things. There's a lot more to me. And I got, I plan to have time to still address that, you know, to make the changes that I can adjust that.
So that next year, my goals [00:39:00] won't be the exact same as they were the year before that year.
Rhumel: [00:39:03] And I won't feel attacked by Stephanie. Say that to me. I mean like you a little triggered, Oh gosh
Stephanie_Brown-1: [00:39:16] but you, you touched on something really important. And I think that. That inner knowing we were talking about the spiritual, but that inner knowing and that inner peace of knowing, okay, this, this is in line with my purpose or at least my purpose, as I understand it at this moment, I'm in line with where I'm supposed to be.
I think that that is what most of us seek. We seek to kind of have that inner peace. And I think that happens when we integrate all the different parts of ourselves. I think. Growing up, we were almost taught to compartmentalize right. Achieve here and do this and do that. We weren't really taught how to integrate all [00:40:00] the different aspects of ourselves and that they were all deserving and wonderful.
And that now that we're learning that once we have everything integrated, it brings a higher sense of peace and sense of purpose that we are sort of on a new path or evolving.
Rhumel: [00:40:20] I agree. I agree. I think that's a wonder, I think that's wonderful. I appreciate you so much, Stephanie.
Twanda: [00:40:27] Dude so much to think about. And this is the perfect time of year to do that as a, you know, kind of rethink where we might be getting in ourselves and our own way this year and get them out of the way I'm pushing her away. Let let's move over, get out the way, I guess, not to do that. Look forward to next year.
We should have an episode. Well, we kinda talk about some of our accomplishments. You know, what it is that we, we did, we've interviewed a lot of people in this with this podcast, we've gotten a [00:41:00] lot of really great advice and then putting some of that to work and being able to say, look what, look what we did for those.
Stephanie_Brown-1: [00:41:07] Oh, I love it. I can't wait to listen to it.
Rhumel: [00:41:10] That'd be great. So, no, Stephanie, I don't want to leave this part out because ma'am, I know you have big things going on. Cause I apparently you are stepping out of your way and leveling up. So why don't you tell everybody how you're leveling up right now and what kind of things you have going on?
Stephanie_Brown-1: [00:41:27] Yes, I am leveling up for a while. I have wanted to do some group coaching programs and I am doing that now. I just launched what I call my sister success circle. And it's a group , a coaching program for women leaders who want to really set some big goals and intentions for this year and to have some group accountability and coaching to help them do that.
And so that launched on January 17th, it's a six week program and we meet once a week on [00:42:00] Sundays and it's just been fantastic. The women are awesome. They are encouraging each other and that's going great. I'm also still doing one on one coaching where I work with individuals. Usually we do a 12 week transformational coaching program and that's been going well.
I look forward to developing a course, so that's one of my 2021 goals by June of 2021 to develop an online course. And I'm continuing with my podcast and my radio show. So I'm just so excited.
Twanda: [00:42:32] a doctor too? I don't
Stephanie_Brown-1: [00:42:34] yes.
Twanda: [00:42:34] time for that. I didn't. I was looking over the clock and the damn the hours of the day and all the things you said, and I, I didn't,
Rhumel: [00:42:41] It still adds up to 24, no matter what
Twanda: [00:42:44] I don't know how Cause I'm more like 42 right now. And that was like
Stephanie_Brown-1: [00:42:49] I think I'm up to 24, but I'm still a doctor and I'm on the front lines taking care of COVID patients and other acutely ill patients. And you know, doing that as well.
[00:43:00] Rhumel: [00:43:00] Well, I thank you so much for your, I mean, service to humanity. I mean, that is truly what that is. And so I appreciate that because it's, I know it's no small feat at all. I feel that sincerely now make sure though you tell people where they can find you this amazing doctor who does it all, who does everything.
Stephanie_Brown-1: [00:43:23] Yeah, yes. You can find me on my website, which is www.StephanieBrowncoaching.com. You can also find me on Facebook. My business page is called Stephanie Brown coaching. And then on Instagram, I'm under sisters overcoming and rising. All one word.
Rhumel: [00:43:43] Nice. Nice. Well, I'm thinking, I'm hoping you're going to have another sister circle.
Twanda: [00:43:50] I now that would
Rhumel: [00:43:51] Cause seriously when you do drop me a note, because I want to join your circle there, but and you all should be joining [00:44:00] the circle, so,
Twanda: [00:44:01] I want to join the circle too. So
Stephanie_Brown-1: [00:44:04] Absolutely. Absolutely. I'll keep
Twanda: [00:44:06] maybe we'll have to look at the page and find out when and when it's time to sign up for the
Rhumel: [00:44:10] The next one, cause yeah, that's, that's right in my wheelhouse right now. So, but thank you Dr. Stephanie Brown for coming by and joining us and coming on our forum. We appreciate it. Oh, we had so much fun with you today and the last time, and I look forward to hopefully doing some more collaborations down the line.
Yeah, so she said, yes.
Stephanie_Brown-1: [00:44:32] Yes,
Rhumel: [00:44:33] All
Stephanie_Brown-1: [00:44:33] would be awesome Rhumel and Twanda.
Twanda: [00:44:36] Hey,
Rhumel: [00:44:36] you so much, everybody. So until next time, peace and blessings